The Sublime Melting Pot

Delivered at the wedding of Cassie (Novak) and David McArtor, Moscow, ID.
Text: 1 Cor 13.1-13

Victor Hugo writes, “Love is the sublime melting pot in which man and woman are fused together, and this melting pot of two souls into one must stir the outer darkness.” I believe that is true. I cannot imagine that the heart of God is not moved to tenderness at such occasions as these when two people profess their love for one another and through that love enter into covenant with each other. David, Cassie, over the last several years as you have grown together and your lives have become intertwined, your love for one another has grown as well. It is that love, shaped by your experiences, tempered and refined by the trials of life, that has brought you both to this place today. We who are gathered here are pleased to be able to celebrate this day with you, and honored to be included in the continuing growth of that love which you have for one another. As we are gathered here today to witness the promises you are about to make to one another and to make promises of our own to you, God is in our midst, smiling.

This gift of love has been given to you in order to build you both up, to enrich your lives, and through the two of you, to build up the world around you. St. Paul writes that no matter how good or mighty a person’s deeds might be, without love they are nothing because, without love, they do not seek to build up one another and their community. The same is true for you. Throughout your marriage, even if you were to know all the right things to do and all the correct things to say, without love, actions would be empty and words would be meaningless. It is only because of the love that you two have for one another that you are able to stand before God and this assembly today.

At the same time, love alone is sometimes not enough. We are flawed, imperfect people. We do not have the capacity or the endurance to love one another as we ought. There will be days when your love will not be enough to sustain you through hardships or to mend your relationship after a fight. It is for those days that you have come here on this day, to offer your vows of fidelity, of forgiveness, and of compassion to one another. Marriage is not a promise of how life will be, but a promise that it will not be lived alone. You will face hardship, anguish, and perhaps even disaster. The true blessing of marriage is not that you will avoid trials, but that whatever may come, good or bad, you will never face it alone.

It is for those days, when you have hit your lowest, when your love alone is not sufficient, Paul writes about what love is: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” When you find you cannot act out of love of your own accord, your vows and these words teach you how to continue to show love to one another, so that even in the midst of failure, you might succeed in building one another up, in nurturing one another, and in continuing to become better spouses, better people. Because you have chosen to bind yourselves to one another today in the presence of this assembly, you have invited community into your marriage, asking for their help and support and acknowledging their guidance. By joining yourselves together in the presence of God, you invite God into your union, and it is God who will give you the strength and wisdom to honor your promises to one another when neither of you has the power to do it on your own.

This is the greatest blessing of marriage: that with God’s help, your love provides the foundation for the vows which you will make today, which in turn will provide a framework for your love to continue to grow and evolve. Over the years, it will evolve, it will change so that you may scarcely recognize it, but it will be there, constant and reliable. Through this love and this marriage, God will constantly be at work to build you both up, and God will also be working to use you to build up your families, your communities, and the world. This gift of love we celebrate today is a gift not just for you, but for all of us. And yet, as St. Paul reminds us, as wonderful, as powerful, as faithful as this gift is, it is but a dim reflection of the love of God. As you grow together in trust and love, your relationship will be a reminder to you and to all of us of the powerful and steadfast love of God.

And so, we rejoice to be here with you today to witness that love which God has shown you and shown us through you, and we also rejoice to be invited into the covenant which you are making with one another. We gladly wish you the best in all that is to come, and we wait excitedly to see how your love for one another will continue to grow and change as God uses you to bless one another and the world.