The Threefold Cord

Delivered at the wedding of Julie (Allen) and Ron Ramirez, Eagan, MN
Text: Eccl 4.9-12

Ron, Julie, I know that you two have had a very busy couple of weeks with moving and preparing for today. There has been a lot to do and a lot to prepare, not to mention a lot of emotion as the big day came closer and closer. Well, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, calm your nerves a bit, and rejoice! Today we all rejoice that the Lord has brought the two of you together in this blessed relationship, and that you have invited all of us to come and be a part of the celebration of that relationship. We give thanks to God together for this day and what it means for the two of you in your journey through life together. I can’t begin to tell you what a joy it is for me to be here to witness this with you today, and I know that I am not the only one here whose heart swells and gladness to see both of you so happy together before this altar and this assembly.

Today we hear from Ecclesiastes why two are better than one.  Two people toiling together have more reward for their work, because they work not just for themselves, but for one another. When two people are together and one falls, the other is there to lift that one up. When two people lie together, they can keep one another warm against the cold that seeps in from the world. Two people can together can prevail against opposition in life.

This is our great joy today, for God has brought the two of you together for your mutual strength and benefit. You each bring many gifts to this marriage. You bring two different sets of values and traditions, you have two different life experiences, you offer two different sets of strengths and come with two different sets of weaknesses. You bring together the richness and fullness of two different cultures. With all these things, and with your very lives, these two come together and are better and stronger than one.
Long before today, you two began weaving the two strands of your lives together. Over the last months, your braid has become closer and tighter. Without that, we could not be here today to witness the beginning of this marriage. However, just as Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one, we also learn that it is the threefold cord which is not easily broken. You two together are stronger than each one alone, but there is one more element which must be present, and it is for that reason that these two people and this assembly of family, friends, and sponsors have gathered together today.

Often we hear these words from Ecclesiastes and we imagine that the third strand in this threefold cord as God, but when I read this verse, I see God not as one of the strands, but as the Weaver, the one who takes the threads of two separate and diverse lives and weaves them together as one. I cannot help but believe that it is God who has brought you both together and who adds a third strand, a strand totally unique and special to make this cord stronger than its component parts.

That third strand is covenant, the trust that you two have for one another and for God to make this marriage work. It is gentleness and patience which will help make you flexible and elastic to bear the inevitable strain of conflict and argument. It is compassion, which will help you stretch and bend together, one life completely intertwined with the other. It is love, both your love for one another and God’s love for you, which will mend the rips and tears and fix the damage your relationship will sustain in the years to come.

As anyone in this room will tell you, married life is not a walk in the park. There will be days of hardship ahead, times which will test you and try you in ways that you will never expect. Already, the two of you have seen some of the forces which work against relationship. You have experienced both the good and the bad of incorporating another person into your lives. It is for these times of anger, sorrow, tension and conflict which God fashions your lives into this threefold cord, a cord which is not easily broken.

Many will be the days when you will climb easily along together across the rock face, finding grips and toe-holds with ease, but when these hardships arise, when you are finding it harder and harder to advance, or when you have to back up to try a different approach, you have the cord of this marriage in which to trust. When you are afraid of losing your grip, you can trust that it is there, holding you together against the inevitable pull of gravity. When you fall, it will catch you and allow you to pick one another up and keep going. When it is dark and you cannot see your way, it will be there to guide you by feel until you find one another again. This is the true blessing of marriage: not that it makes life easier, but that it gives you someone to walk with and trust in as you face the hardships ahead. Together, with prayer and supplication to God you can hold onto this cord and withstand all things.

So, rejoice! Though there are bound to be rough days ahead, the two of you have this threefold cord as your safety rope, woven out of the unique strands of your own lives by God, who has created this new and special cord just for you. We who are gathered together today celebrate with you at the beginning of this new endeavor, and pray for your continued well-being and good fortune. May the Lord richly bless you in all things and give you the peace of God which passes all earthly understanding, and the trust, the patience, the compassion, and the love needed to see the weaving of this new cord, begun today, to its completion. This threefold cord will not be quickly broken. Amen.