Where You Go, I Will Go

Delivered at the wedding of Rhiannon (Chandler) and Carter Fox, Albuquerque, NM.
Text: Ruth 1.16-17

Well, here we are. This long-awaited day is finally here. Congratulations, you two, you made it! I must confess I feel a little strange standing here as a bachelor giving the two of you advice and encouragement for your marriage when you clearly have more experience at this than I do, but with the help of God, I will speak from my own experience and the experience of others before me, and will do my best.

When you originally asked me to lead this ceremony for you, you had it set for June; only later did you move the date to today. I know that after all this hectic planning and scurrying around you have asked yourselves more than once, “What the heck were we thinking?!?” In spite of all the craziness of planning a wedding during school while you two have been far apart, this is actually a very fitting time of year for a wedding. We are now in the liturgical season of Advent, which is a time of waiting and anticipation leading up to Christmas. During Advent we remember Christ’s coming into the world and wait with baited breath for his return. And so, it is also appropriate that during this time of waiting for Christ’s return, we should also be anticipating this happy day for the two of you, Rhiannon and Carter. There is more of a connection than you might think.

Christ’s birth was a sign to the world of God’s love and devotion to us. It was Christ’s life and teaching, and finally his death and resurrection that sent the message to the world that God cares for us and loves us enough to become like us, taking on all our human frailties and sorrows to work with us to make our lives here better, with the promise of indescribable joy to come. Similarly, your marriage today is a sign of your love and devotion to one another. In this marriage, the two of you will take on one another’s sorrows and burdens, as well as each other’s joys and celebrations, working with one another and hoping for a long and happy life to come. Your marriage today is a foretaste for you and for all of us of what is to come with Christ’s return.

Now, the love that you have for one another is not perfect, because nothing in this world is perfect, but it is love, and with these vows that you exchange today, you are promising one another each other’s trust, love, fidelity, honor, respect, and commitment. Unfortunately, like all things we know, marriage is imperfect. The two of you know all too well the sting of divorce, as does this assembly here today. As I read earlier in the service, neither the state, nor God nor I can create this marriage, only the two of you. Marriage is not so much a promise to love one another as it is a promise of fidelity and commitment. However, it is that promise of fidelity that will allow you to nurture your love and grow together in relationship.

The text from the Bible you chose to have read comes from the book of Ruth in the Old Testament. The story goes that Naomi and her husband moved away from their own country to live as resident aliens while her two boys were still young. Eventually, her husband died, leaving her to raise her sons. They grew up and took foreign wives, and then they, too, tragically died. With nothing left to tie her to that land, Naomi kissed her daughters-in-law Ruth and Orpah goodbye and headed back to her homeland in bitter sorrow and anger. Ruth, however, refused to leave her, vowing to stay with Naomi, even though Ruth would be a foreigner in Naomi’s land without a means of support. Ruth’s devotion to and love for Naomi, in spite of all the hardships it meant for her, is why the passage that Phil read earlier is so appropriate for our ceremony today.

Like Naomi, we are not always at our best, sometimes we are angry and sorrowful and nasty to be around, yet like Ruth, we continue to stick together for the sake of love. Carter, there will be days when Rhiannon will annoy you to no end, and Rhiannon, there will be days when you are so angry with Carter that you will not even want to speak to him. When those days come, remember Naomi and Ruth, remember your love for one another. Act out of that love always, doing only kindness even when you are angry or hurt, and your love will continue to blossom. Carter and Rhiannon, today you are pledging your devotion to one another, in spite of whatever hardships you may face ahead of you, because you love one another, and that love is what calls you to this marriage. Remember to live in that love.

You both know as well as anybody that there will be hard times to come. You know that life is not going to be any easier than it has already been, and sometimes will be much harder. As another pastor once said in another wedding homily, “Marriage is not a promise of how life will be, but a promise that it will not be lived alone.”  This marriage is going to be work, but it will be worth every tear, every drop of sweat that you put into it, because from now on, you are living not just for yourselves, but for one another, and it is is that relationship that will give you strength and courage. I have faith in the two of you, and I hope that you have faith in each other, that there is nothing ahead of you that you cannot face together. May God richly bless you in your life together.